If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
