I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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