I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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