Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
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