he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
