yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
