Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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