I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
