a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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