Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
