I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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