the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
