ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
