May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize