I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
