ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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