Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
