My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I didn't shave. On purpose
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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