Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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