so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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