so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
