I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
