If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
