in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
