the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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