idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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