dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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