I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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