All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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