just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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