Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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