We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize