HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my being single is dangerous.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
