Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
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