my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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