I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
