real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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