I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
