You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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