he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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