yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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