i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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