I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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