look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
