i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize