my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
