T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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