it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
