adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
