Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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