i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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