just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
