Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
