When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
