dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This is my gift to your gina
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
