ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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