So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Drunk is a universal language darling
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
