ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Too much gin, very little bucket
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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