i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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