My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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