hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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