Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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